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January 19
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too long
i’ve held watch
over slovens in my chrysalis
rooting in my diaries,
in toilets
and in traffic.

i dream of razing their genitals.
if not for this ugly sycophant . . .

no,

if not for limestone
swept
into mud
how would i know
what instincts have been rewarded?

if i hadn’t made things
sacrosanct,
tree lines as noble architects,
a face, some godly panic

then i’d just see a headless corpse
some cat had torn
from shallow burrows
instead of this:

                          an Algernon

as still
and as holy
as
the flowers
that you left.
:iconthetaoofchaos:
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:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Jan 28, 2013   General Artist
I crumble so easily upon the touch of beautiful poetry <3
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
`thetaoofchaos Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really appreciate that. :heart:
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:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Jan 29, 2013   General Artist
As I appreciate you and your marvelous word paintings, dear friend. :heart:
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
`thetaoofchaos Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconadonael:
~Adonael Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The pauses that you employ particularly near the end appear so delicately that I think they could shatter - the poem reads in a gentle and quiet way for me.

I'd never read "Flowers for Algernon", but on checking the reference I can it was well used. It was difficult to see it as a funeral poem until the penultimate stanza, seeing as a societal parody kind of poem instead, but I guess there could be an element of that in their too, with how people can feign that pretentious mourn at funerals.

'f i hadn’t made things
sacrosanct,
tree lines as noble architects,
a face, some godly panic'

I really enjoyed that stanza :)
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
`thetaoofchaos Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for offering your thoughts on this. i'm glad that the fragility of the form shows through - i certainly intended that. my desire for this poem was to demonstrate what a funeral actually is: an ending in the mind or the heart, as it were. funerals are for the living, and this one is for me.

you should read Flowers for Algernon.
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:iconadonael:
~Adonael Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It was a pleasure. The scene was very vivid and there was a ghostly feel to it in a way.

I shall try, after getting through my extensive reading list :)
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
`thetaoofchaos Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :)
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
`FuzzyHoser Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Holy whoa, Shane. Holy whoa, indeed. And yes, at this hour, that is the shiniest comment I can muster. Bravo!
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